


Busted

by iblamethenubbins



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Humour, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iblamethenubbins/pseuds/iblamethenubbins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's caught red-handed, but she has a plan. Kinda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Busted

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks SO much to [bethanyactually](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bethanyactually) and [geeneste](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geneeste/pseuds/geneeste) for their beta-ing and feedback :)
> 
> This is set sometimes between [Bike reclamation day](https://archiveofourown.org/works/232429) and [Jack Benny's Accross the Hall, Fred Allen's One Floor Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/948204)

“Hey, was that someone knocking at the door?” said Rodney.

Everyone lifted their heads at the same time.

“Nah, I don’t think so, man. Just relax,” said Cam and dropped his head down on the cushion again.

“No, no, I definitely heard something,” insisted Rodney.

“Didn’t Teyla go out to get some snacks a while ago?” Liz suggested.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. I’ll get it,” said Sam, quickly getting up. Then she swayed and held her forehead with her hand.

“Whoa. Too fast.”

Vala giggled. “I knew you were a lightweight. I shouldn’t have let you try it.”

“Shut up, you. I just need a minute to…hey, why am I up again?”

Vala muffled her laughter on her cushion and Cam made a vague gesture towards the door with his arm. “Snacks.”

“Oh, right, yeah. Coming!” she shouted at the door.

Somehow she managed to get to the door, dodging her friends’ bodies sprawled all over the living room.

She opened the door with her widest grin and said, “Hello, snacks!”

Jack O’Neill looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh. You’re not the snacks,” she said, her grin quickly disappearing from her face.

Jack just glared.

“Shit,” she said, and slammed the door in his face.

She turned her back to the door and covered her mouth in shock.

“Shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!”

“Hey, what’s up?” asked Liz.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

“You alright?” Liz, concerned, got up and walked towards her.

Sam lifted her head to look at Liz, her eyes wide with terror.

“Sam” said Liz, grabbing her shoulders “Sam! Come back to us. What happened?”

“It wasn’t the snacks. It was Mr. O’Neill. It _is_ Mr. O’Neill. He’s still there. I think.”

Liz half-smiled. “So? He’s your boyfriend, right?”

“Shhhh! He is NOT my boyfriend,” she whispered angrily. “And even if he was, he’s probably gonna kick me out now, so it doesn’t…”

_Knock knock knock._

“Oh God oh God Oh God,” Sam started chanting, rocking back and forth. “What do I do what do I do what do I do?” She looked at Liz. “What do I do?” she asked, shaking her roommate.

“What’s the problem?” asked Vala.

“Nothing! Sam’s boyfriend--” Sam backhanded Liz on her shoulder. “I mean, the landlord is at the door, and Sam’s freaking out.”

“Why? Just tell him to join us,” said Vala.

“Are you out of your mind?” said Sam. “He’s gonna have us arrested. Or worse, kicked out!”

“Just tell him they’re herbal cigarettes,” suggested Rodney.

Everyone glared at him.

“What? It always works with my mother,” he said.

“Look, the way I see it,” said Vala, rolling on one side, propping her elbow on the floor and resting her head on one hand, “you have two options.”

Sam listened carefully.

“Option one. You pretend you didn’t hear him, come back here, and forget it ever happened.”

Mr. O’Neill knocked again, this time more loudly. Sam just pointed at the door and raised her eyebrows at Vala.

“OK. Option two, you go and stall him, while we open the windows, light an incense stick, and hope for the best.”

“Is there a three?” asked Sam.

“Probably, but I can’t think of it now.”

“Fine. I’ll go,” she sighed. “But you guys better get your asses off the floor and start helping.”

She slowly turned around and opened the door, just as Mr. O’Neill was about to knock again. He didn’t look happy.

“Heeeeeeey,” said Sam, sidling out through the opening and closing the door behind her. “How have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while. Wanna go grab some coffee down at T’s?” She started towards the stairs.

Jack grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Sam. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

Jack narrowed his eyes at her. Sam shrugged.

“Look, I just came up because Mrs. Jenkins from 304 complained about the loud music.”

“Oooooh, the music! But it’s not playing now, is it? And she already told us last night.”

“Yeah, well, she came down today asking me if I had officially reprimanded you about your…‘anti-social behavior’, as she put it. So I had to come to, you know, reprimand.”

“Hmm. I see. Tell her it won’t happen again. Again.”

“I will. So, what’s going on?”

“I told you. Nothing.”

“You’re obviously trying to keep me away from your room.”

“Am not. I just thought we might, you know, catch up. Seeing as how we haven’t…caught up in a while.” Sam coughed nervously and blushed. Damn, she hadn’t meant to blush. She was past blushing in front of him, right?

Jack smiled but didn’t let up. “You seem jittery. And your eyes seem...” Jack looked at her intensely and leaned forward, making her heart skip a beat. “...bigger.”

“I...uh…” she stammered. And then, with the logic of her stoned brain, she told herself that the best defense was a good offense, grabbed him by his shirt, and kissed him.

Jack stiffened at the unexpected turn of events and pulled back.

“Wait.” He looked around, located the nearest storage closet, and pulled her in, pinning her against the door. “So, where were--” but he didn’t get to say anything else as Sam pulled him towards her and shoved her tongue in his mouth.

They hadn’t even been groping each other for two minutes when Jack suddenly pushed her away. “Hold on a second…” He narrowed his eyes at her. “I knew it!”

“What?” asked Sam, still in a daze from the kissing and the pot. But mostly the kissing.

“You’ve been smoking the--the funny stuff. I can taste it!”

Sam burst out laughing. “The funny stuff?”

“You know what I mean. Weed, spliff, joint, grass, Mary Jane…”

“Whoa. Someone has been studying his urban dictionary,” said Sam, and pulled him close with a smirk.

“No. You’re not gonna avoid this by using your wiles on me again.”

“Wiles _?”_ said Sam mockingly and laughed again.

“All right, that’s it! That’s the proof. You’ve got the giggles.”

That made Sam laugh even harder. “The giggles,” she managed to say in between fits of laughter. “Oh my God, my stomach hurts.”

Jack glared. He had never felt so old and so…left out in his entire life.

“Just admit it. You even have the munchies. I had never seen you so happy as when you thought I was the snacks.”

“In the interest of our future, um, relationship, I must say that I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sam.”

She looked up at him, still trying not to laugh.

“Enough with the giggling. The giggles. Stop. Now,” said Jack, lifting her chin with his finger, making her look at him.

“Yes, sir,” she said, trying to pull her face straight with her hands.

“I just think…you underestimate me,” said Jack seriously.

Sam frowned. “I do what now?”

“Well, first of all, I’m not your dad.”

“Thank God for that.”

“And second of all, why did you leave me out of the party? I’m kinda…hurt.”

Sam shook her head in disbelief. “You’re hurt.”

“Yeah, well. I thought we were past all the awkwardness. I was sort of hoping we were, you know, almost to the second stage by now.”

“Which is?”

“Which is, you stop thinking about me as your landlord and start inviting me to your house parties.”

“Oh, right, _that_ stage.”

“Yep.”

Sam paused.

“So, you’re not mad?”

Jack shrugged. “Been there, done that. It’s not that big of a deal. As long as Mrs. Jenkins doesn’t find out.”

Sam looked instantly relieved. “Vala was right,” she said with a sigh. “All this fuss for nothing.”

“Not nothing.” He grinned. “You _did_ get me to make out in a closet with you.”

“That is very true,” she said and lifted her head to kiss him, but Jack held her back and asked, “So, am I invited now?”

She smirked. “Of course, you idiot,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. “But first, I’ve got some unfinished business here.”

“Again, not complaining.”

 


End file.
